Amish typically start dating at around sixteen and get married at twenty to twenty-two years.
For many generations, the Amish parents have followed certain customs to assist their children in finding a life partner.
As significant as this choice is, the parents intend to refrain from weighing in with their perspectives and instead put their faith in the guiding hand of God for their grown children's love lives.
People from the Amish community do not date outsiders, and the prospective dating partner should also come from an Amish family.
Can a Non-Amish Join the Amish Community?
A Non-Amish person can join the Amish Community though it is quite challenging. This difficulty arises because many Amish communities are very conservative in their practices.
Some communities can even cast you out simply for using antiperspirant or deodorant. The only way to approach this is to become friends with members of the Amish community and express an interest in joining.
If you do this, there is a remote possibility that they will put you in touch with the Bishop, who will guide you on how to join their community.
Similarly, move to a location close to or within an Amish village where you can find a job that will allow you to interact with Amish people.
When in close interaction with them, you can educate yourself in German and indicate an interest in becoming a member of their community. The new friends you have made in the Amish community may, at some point, bring you to see their place of worship.
From there, one can be introduced to a Bishop who will embrace you in the community. It is important to note that even when accepted or integrated into the community, no one from the community may date or marry you.
What does Amish Dating Entail?
The young people mingle at gatherings, including parties, religious events, and social gatherings at friends' houses, to find a potential date.
Singings that happen on Sunday nights are the most popular activities in the community. Amish teenagers from multiple districts may gather for Sunday night singings, which usually take place in a private residence or barn.
Amish children and teenagers sit at a long table facing each other and sing hymns during the singing. In between songs, they converse with one another.
The singing continues until perhaps about ten o'clock, when the teenagers can have some pastries and drinks while mingling for an hour or two after the singing has ended.
If a boy likes a girl, he will offer to drive her home if they are interested in dating her. If they find that they love spending time together, he will start taking her home after future parties instead of leaving her there alone.
If either of them has married siblings, they will visit that couple while dating or courting. Amish dates are more likely to involve going on buggy rides or participating in other group activities outdoors, unlike traditional English dating, which can include activities such as dinner and a movie.
Young couples are permitted to go to dinner in the town where they belong to more liberal groups. Couples have the option of going on dates after work during the weekdays and Saturday evenings as well.
Courtship is taken very seriously in Amish communities because there is no legal provision for separating couples. There is a possibility that the young couple's parents are unaware that they see each other. It is common for couples to want to keep their relationship a secret from others.
The Amish treat courtship as an essential social obligation, with the practice of "dating around" not considered appropriate behavior.
People will carefully consider whomever they will pursue a relationship with since they know they will be expected to maintain their commitment to courtship and marriage.
Because of the low rate of divorce among Amish people, young people need to avoid getting involved with people of the opposite sex before they find the partner who is best for them.
What is Rumspringa?
In many Amish communities, the period known as Rumspringa is when Amish youth, particularly males and some girls, are allowed more freedom.
They are no longer subject to the supervision of their parents on the weekends, and as they have not been baptized, the church does not yet have the right to exercise any discipline over them.
Many Amish children and adolescents exhibit traditional Amish behavior during this time. Some people try out "worldly" activities for the first time, such as buying a car, going to the movies, wearing clothes that aren't Amish, or buying a television.
The social circle a teenager, chooses to be a part of in larger Amish communities greatly influences how that adolescent acts.
Because the decision will affect how the adolescent acts, it is common for Amish parents to be concerned about which group their child will join. After Rumspringa, the teenagers often get engaged, marry and start families.
What is "Bundling" During Amish Courtship?
During the courtship process, young people in some Amish communities take part in a practice known as "bundling."
After a date, they follow this tradition, which involves spending the night together in bed with both parties remaining dressed while abstaining from engaging in sexual activity.
It is intended for couples to grow emotionally close while conversing during the night. Some Amish people believe that sleeping in the same bed as a prospective spouse is essential to courtship.
In other locations, they are even believed to be covered in blankets by other people; a year later, they get married and can now sleep together with their husbands.
What Comes After Dating in the Amish Community?
After courting, most Amish couples end up getting married. Another scenario happens when two people decide to part ways.
Parting ways is usually referred to as "quitting" each other. Quitting each other is not common because many Amish young people have decided whom they will marry when they are sixteen.
After dating, the next stage is engagement, a practice typically considered private. In fact, a newly engaged couple might not even tell their parents about their engagement until the summer months of July or August.
In turn, the family decides to keep the engagement a secret until a church service that will take place in October.
You might be able to figure out which families are getting ready for a wedding, though, if you notice that they are painting their homes or planting a huge quantity of celery. The celery will be used to decorate the wedding tables and cook soup for the wedding dinner.
Weddings for Amish couples often take place on Tuesdays and Thursdays throughout November and December.
On the other hand, weddings can occur throughout the spring and even into the summer in larger communities and in those not dictated by the agrarian calendar.
The wedding preparations will take the family an entire day, and the cleanup will take an additional day following the ceremony.
It would be unreasonable to have a wedding on a Saturday or Monday because the preparations or the cleanup would have to take place on a Sunday, which is sacrilegious.
The wedding ceremony begins at approximately 8:30 am and lasts approximately three to three and a half hours. Following the sermon's delivery, the Bishop pulls the couple aside and confers with them in private as the congregation sings hymns.
He provides the couple with counsel, teaching in a private setting, and his blessing. Afterward, the bride and groom will proceed to the front of the chapel to exchange their vows.
Finally, the wedding party and guests return to the bride's family's home after the concluding prayer.
Do Amish Support LGBTQ+ Dating?
Regarding LGBTQ+, Amish people refuse to recognize that these identities exist. As with many other things that the Amish overlook, such as those with mental health problems.
The Amish do not even try to condemn them since, in their thinking, they do not exist. This is one of the many things that the Amish ignore.
Relationships between people of the same sexual orientation are no more sinful or immoral than any other behaviors they restrict people from engaging in.
As a direct consequence, LGBTQ+ members of the Amish community are forced to either engage in secret relationships with members of their sexual orientation (same-sex partnerships) or, more typically, either leave or commit suicide.
The Amish community suffers from exceptionally high rates of both leaving and suicide.
The Amish have no allegiances outside their community; hence, they neither support nor oppose any outside causes.
It makes no difference to the Amish if non-Amish people are allowed to marry or have other rights. It is as concerning to them as if non-Amish people were engaging in any other activity.
The Amish community disregards the actions of people who are not Amish. The Amish community disregards the actions of people who are not Amish.
You may see this manifested in the way that they treat activities taken by non-Amish and ex-Amish in very different ways.
Non-Amish people are of no concern to Amish people and are convinced that everyone who is not Amish is going to hell.
On the other hand, Ex-Amish had the opportunity to accept salvation but chose not to do so, which is why they were shunned or cast out of the community.